It has been a very contemplative time in my world. A lot of processing of change and cosmological movement in the universe, a true definition of the internal shifting of self. It's been a while since I've written and updated but hope to not let this be a habit. I feel as though the inner workings are defining my highest nature and allowing me to move forward towards the greatness I feel in my heart. So let the words flow!
This weekend I had the joy to help the wonderful Victoria Dunker with her clothing line Fate Designs with her first exhibition at the Yoga Conference at the Metro Convention Centre here in Toronto. It was a lovely experience, and created a wonderful environment to connect and meet individuals of health, wellness and rejuvenation. I've known Victoria for some time now and can't help but be ecstatic everytime I see her art. She showcased her work through leggings, shorts, kimonos all made in Canada with an artistic zeal for a flavour that rivals other designs I've seen in the city. Do check out her site and gear up for a lot more beautiful work to come from her this year!
There has been a lot of movement in the cosmos, and I hope that you are all feeling the waves turning as well. Along with Jupiter, and Venus, Saturn has begun to move Retrograde on the 6th while Mercury stations Retrograde on the 9th, meaning we're in for a heavy rollercoaster!! Jupiter is the planet of expansion, and I have definitely been feeling the inward contraction of the self. A lot of reflection upon my life, my journeys, adventures and where I want to take myself moving forward have all been in someways effected by these themes. Venus on the other hand deals with love, and I've connected a lot with these signs of losing our heavenly feminine goddess to the underwold one too many times. I've connected with many friends who have either been going through tough times in relationships, or gone the full distance in ending a long term partnership. As much as Venus seeks for us explore the true nature of love amongst our relationships, the most important aspect I have learning is that of self-love. In discovering the self, understanding what it is that makes each and everyone of us unique, is the essential process for this retrograde. When we can truly love ourselves for who we are, can we become open to begin loving others again. It is definitely not an easy card to play, or even to fully understand, but the work is happening whether we like it or not. There is an intense need to try and understand and comprehend everything that happens in life, but the more I try to stress about these things, the more that it comes spiraling back into my face. The best way to make sense of it all is to go with the flow. Which has always been my motto, and though at times the waves come crashing hard, I know there is always a rising tide, something to bring you above the surface to see that light shining in the sky once again.
This leads me to Saturn and Mercury, the Galactic Father, and the Messenger of Communication, both going retrograde this week. Now I'm no Kaypacha with those profound Astrological reports I love watching every week, but I can impart some wisdom from what I gain from my spirit guides, and my own experience with the cosmos and the affects they have upon my person. It has only recently that I have been learning about Saturn as the Father of the Universe, that centre of the galaxy that holds things together. In a year I will have my Saturn Return, the 27 year cycle for the planet to return to its original position on the day you were born, and I have been fearful but excited of what may come. From everything that I've read and learned about the Saturn Return has been harrowing, dark, and at times very scary to say the least. Either you pay back the karma from which was started, or you gain the rewards for good deeds done, in short, "You reap what you sow." Saturn, holding those scyths, cleaving the karmic contracts we all hold, delivering the swift justice for deeds good and evil. With Saturn in Retrograde I feel that the necessary work that needs to be done is to reflect as much as possible and do all the work needed to be done to cleanse your karmic records, start fresh and hold a new form to move forward with going into the future. It is indeed a powerful time, not only with all of these planets moving in Retrograde, but all of the shifting landscapes of our ever changing world. The natural world is changing, Mother Earth is suffering and calling for help and healing, for what we have done to her, and as the cycles go, we are feeling the wrath of karma avenging her. I don't like going into depth with politics, but the US had just launched Tomahawk Missiles against Syria in response to Chemical Warfare that took the lives of 85 people including at least 20 children. The nature of warfare in this world and the bloodshed has stemmed from far back, and it is taking its toll with such severity and cruelty, that one must beg to question, when does it end? If Saturn's Retrograde means a double dose of karma, then what happens to the evil deeds of men? This cycle of perpetual torment will not end until every deed lay bare, and cleansed of the darkness. May the light shine through these moments of sorrow, these times of tumultuous turmoil and strife, for we need as much love as possible. Luckily Venus begins to shift into direct motion on the 15th, but that is not until Mercury first takes its step back on the 9th.
I have always hate Mercury Retrograde, I take it personally because it is the planet that governs my sign. As a Gemini, communication and technology have always been the forefront of my actions, and character. When all of this takes a step back I must too take the reigns and hold off on any forms of progress until the planet stations direct once again. For anyone who is new to what Mercury Retrograde entails, think of any form of communication, networking, or technological advancement we have at our disposal, and fry it, break it, spin it on its head. This is the chaos that this retrograde brings, and as much as you want to avoid it, you cannot, something will go wrong, your laptop shuts down without saving important files, you send the wrong text to the wrong person, or your phone takes a momentarily relapse of reason before failing on you for the third time in the day. But let not this dishearten you, don't go hiding in the woods just yet, as this is the ultimate time for reflection. The best time to take a step back and not take things so seriously, because god knows we do so often than not. This is perhaps the best time to do the inner work needed, to pay attention to things we often overlook in the harsh environments of social media, and "real world dilemmas." This is the time for soul work, and even if you are not spiritual, know that your soul is trying to speak to you at this monumental time of change.
As much as we tend to fear change, there is no stopping the forces that are at play, the energy that the universe is using to push you forward to become the best version of yourself that you can be, and that includes letting go of the past. These last few months I have done a lot of soul work, a lot of reflection, a lot of healing, and a lot discovering who I am, and what it is I want to share with the world. Being an artist is tough because you tend to fall into various bouts of depression when your art isn't clicking, and extreme highs of anxiety and mania when you get off on an artistic roll and can't seem to stop. At this point the best thing I feel I can do, and if you too are feeling the same, is to dig deep, really deep, as deep as you can go to find that piece of yourself that demands a voice. I like to akin this to the voice of your inner child, that truth of self, that had dreams before coming to terms with the harsh realities that life threw on to you. When that voice begins to speak, and it starts sharing with you your true purpose, your true calling, than you arrive at a whole new realm of being. Perhaps you have all done this and far surpassed me, but where I'm at now, is still scratching the surface of this nature of self, refining and fine tuning. Spirit work is the hardest work you can do, to be able to come out of the other end of the tunnel and look back at the darkness that was once surrounding you, and welcome the light that now encompasses your soul.
I will end with a high note and say that there is beauty on the horizon despite the strife of all this retrograde doom and gloom. I have begun work on some projects that will demand a lot of attention and focus, and I will continue to keep the flow going, updating and connecting to the world outside of my mind's eye, and share with the online world as much as I can. These months of reflection have shown me the importance of community, for the best way to bring the Age of Aquarius is to connect that love and support with others that vibrate to the same frequency. So expect some talkshows, and podcasts, a music video, and a short film I co-wrote with my good friend Cat Hostick on the horizon. Oh as well, I've got an appearance on Neil Gaiman's American Gods finally premiering on Starz! April 30!
Until then, love and light my friends and family!
J