“An Actor is at most a Poet, and at least, an Entertainer.” - Marlon Brando
To be ...
In my Grade 8 Yearbook I was chosen "Most Likely to Be" an Actor. The momentum of changing characters, shifting into various forms, learning new skills in new skins, this art and craft of acting has always defined my world. Growing up watching film and television I discovered the various ways in which a character can arouse within me emotions, feelings, and a sense of comfort or security. The evolution of an artistic form became the basis in which I would be able to express myself, and inhabit these realms of modality and persona.
I have always been adventurous, talkative and outgoing, which balanced out with my often introverted time alone at home and in my space. Perhaps it's the Gemini in me that continuously has to cope with both worlds; both sides of the brain working in unison, while at times countering each other, fighting for space, seeking passageway into my consciousness and the output of my external world; this artistic nature I was born with that needs to be active or else it is stagnant, depressed, anxious, and eager to keep moving.
I was never in any plays in high school, except for the one I wrote and directed for the Sears Drama Festival. This part of Syd, loosely based on the life of Syd Barrett, an artistic sprite, struggling with the internal turmoil of an overactive mind. In some ways this was the first experience that showed me how art can mirror life, and how deep the art can run in my veins, define my world, and the actions that shaped my character. In University I continued to excel in the craft, eagerly desperate to play, receiving roles that were not my initial choice, but still somehow found a way to deliver a piece of myself to the internal monologues that played within the subscript, my feelings towards the character, and how I saw myself in them.
The craft of acting for me was always the study of process, the way Stanislavksi taught his method, sneaking into the skin of the character, connecting the cerebral cortex of their memories, and attaching them to your own experiences to find an alchemical mixture of something fresh, new, but personal, unique and true. Acting for me is an expression of truth. Accomplishing a task of humility; revealing a piece of yourself that you don't let others see; the personal work you give the character that comes out on stage or screen; doing your best to be as honest as possible to the words on that script in seeking, in someways a better version of yourself at the end of the tunnel.
This is not to say I am anywhere near where I want to be as an actor, but I do know that I am always honing my craft, seeking the roles that I can bring life to, that I can relate to and see myself in, hoping that others can see themselves in them too. Life is a continuous flow of action and inaction, the reveal and the confide, what you choose to let the audience see, and what you make them work hard to figure out for themselves. I've lived in many ways through my own personal experiences, now if I can deliver at least a grain of truth of that into new life, and have it resonate with someone, connecting to a piece of themselves, wherein they can feel the emotions and feelings I have felt in my life, and say that it had an impact, well than I can say that I've done my job. How well I've done it is something that can never be defined until I choose to live it, breathe it, accepting my role to be.