I just finished this trilogy for the first time all in one sitting. And it has been beautiful. #JesseandCelineForever
I've been waiting years to watch this story. And it's taken me up until now to be at the point to watch it as a whole, free of distractions, one with the story of Jesse and Celine, the film that changed the idea of what a love story can be, as so I've heard. I knew what I was going to feel going into this, but as it began I knew I wasn't ready for the journey. I was at the point where I knew I could handle watching it, was I going to do all three? It wasn't until Before Sunrise was over, that I said, yes. This is the only way to experience this full trajectory and absorb this relationship, free of time and space. Only Jesse and Celine. And I'll never forget it.
I've thought about many moments in life that had passed me by in this same way. How the fear took over my ability to follow through with the desire to break the ice and take a leap of faith in a spontaneous feeling, one of attraction, one of mystery, intrigue and the unknown. What if that first encounter would be the last and that was the end of it. But maybe it's not.
The writer in me, the one who lives in the fantasy realm of dreams often plays out these ideas of mental moving pictures, these could have, would have, should have beens, but is unfortunately burdened by these futuristic thoughts to stay present, in the moment, able to give into that trust of acting in the now. For I have regretted each time I should have stayed at the party, or left early, moments when I should have spoke up, or shut my mouth, I have lived a constant balancing act of what is the right thing to do now, because I was too busy conjuring up the non-existant fear of what the future may bring. It is a negative polarity to live on, it bounds you to pessimism of doubt, and continues down the rabbit hole of shame when you kick yourself for not taking a chance, not taking that leap that could change your life. We at times are often comfortable in the cruising position, and when the lights turn yellow we slow down and stop, the daredevils chase yellow lights, the bold few, the risk takers, that wish each light was green. There are those few who chase the dream, but for those who make it to the other side tend to not regret the past because they're too busy living in the moment.
Richard Linklater is one of the few film makers who turned me on to cinema in a subtle way. It began with Dazed and Confused and then I took a history lesson in going back to Slacker, but I waited on Before Sunrise, for many, many years. Back then I was already hitting the train of thought through Clerks, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club and the circuit of indie filmmakers on the rise in the late nineties. Following my thrill of the chase to hit those cinematic highs of ground breaking revolutionary movies, the cutting edge. It was only lately that I've been enjoying the gentle curve in the road, coasting on slow burns and being able to witness the basis of good storytelling, language and dialogue, that made me fall in love with writing, acting and filmmaking in the first place. Linklater's films always had a flow that moved me, characters that engaged me, made me feel alive, because they were all relatable people, fragments of archetypes I knew, personalities I've met and interacted with throughout life.
I think I waited on seeing the Before Trilogy for so long because I knew how much I would love it, and how much I would resonate with the story. I would always say, oh I've been meaning to see those films, they're on my list, I'm not ready but I want to. I'm older now, and I can appreciate this story in a way that made me love Before Midnight the best, not only because it was the more mature and better directed, but because I can understand the trajectory of this story, and be privileged to binge through twenty years of these two people's lives in a night. If I had seen Before Sunrise first on its own, I would have still been a romantic, I would have played with the idea of taking a chance, believing in love at first sight, chance encounters, the spontaneity of this could be the moment that changes everything. Because I'm a dreamer I would have fallen in love with this dream, because I've lived those nights, and wished it would never end. I would say did they meet in six months?
By the time I'd get to Before Sunset, it would have been a close second watch in waking life, it would have been out by that time, and I would have wanted to see them both in a row, enjoy that trajectory, know that, yes of course they would meet again, in what way, I'll find out. I'd appreciate the maturity of being thirty, the reality that things had gone a different way, and of course the six month idea would have been crazy, but I would have gone, and like Jesse I'd know I was a fool for thinking to do it. I'm a dreamer, but I'd also have exchanged phone numbers, and things would have turned out differently. If I watched these two films I would have still fallen in love with Jesse and Celine, I would have rooted for their journey, and to the same surprise I'd be wowed that he stayed, because who would be crazy enough to stay? Who chases the yellow light? Linklater did and he turned it into a trilogy. I'm glad I waited to watch Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, because Before Midnight eventually came out and I knew I had to watch them all at the right time. When that would be, was to the wind. Eight years after coming out, in the middle of a strange pandemic world on a Sunday night, I watched all three in a row.
Before Midnight made it all real. The truth of what that flash forward moment I had everytime I thought about getting off the train to ask the girl out would have looked like, and if I were ready for it. Seeing the trilogy in a row made me not only focus in on how much of a dreamer I had been, and how unprepared I would have been to think I could just gallantly step into a fairy tale love story, because things don't turn out like movies, or at least a percentage of how some had played out for me. But what I had come to learn as I was watching, was that all of these fears, all of these uncertainties were all clouds of grey I had cooked up for myself to avoid my ability to take that step forward, in any endeavor that demanded a big swing or giant leap of faith. I always had the trust in myself but the doubt had overridden the programming, and the executable files of shame, loss, and grief followed suit. I've come to discover that life moves at the pace you're ready to experience it. There are many stops along the way to step on or off the train, we are not fueled by the one perfect moment, as there are a multitude of possibilities waiting for us.
Linklater, Delpy and Hawke showed the rational, realistic nature of how things would have gone in Before Sunset, how life often passes through and you follow the outcome presented to you. You make a date to meet six months later, they don't show up, you mourn and pine on the fantasy that it could have been the one true chance, but eventually you move on with your story. The past exists as a memory and you continue to live in the present. Because the present eventually brings you to where you're supposed to be. When they meet in Sunset, it kicks off the next ten years, the important years of a relationship. The not fucking around years that determine, hey are we just kids fooling around with the idea of love, or is what we have Sacred, is it real and can we hold on to this bond we think could last?
Before Midnight shows the depth of that relationship, and how well both Hawke and Delpy play these characters so earnestly all these years later, because we don't see the honeymoon phase, we don't see the ten days of love making when he stays, we don't see how he has to deal with his family back home, we are flashed forward with the beating heart of commitment and what that means to cherish the love you wake up for, how we stay present for that person we got off a train for.
Linklater masterfully orchestrates the conflict at the beginning of the film and let's it simmer like a stew, boiling up to the dialogue thst proceeds, and it is a majestic melody of flavours. There are accents of new characters, locations and we get to see a bigger picture of Jesse and Celine's world. When the focus returns to them we again feel their relationship as it ebbs and flows, luckily the dialogue stays at tempo that keeps the energy alive and it never dampens, it feels real throughout, through the jokes, and laughs, but through the difficult and challenging moments as well. It's beautiful because it's earnest. It's heartbreaking because the conflict that arises demands the both of them to see what matters most in their lives, and how important their core has to be, how strong it must have been to endure the journey thus far, and to question if they would make it another 56 years?
Midnight asks the more difficult questions, raises the battle between genders, and I would press on to say if there was another film made in the next five years, it would be completely different. For the sensitivities in this post MeToo era would definitely play a part in the conflict between the couple, not only in the rising of the movement, but how couples have altered the very nature of a relationship, and how staying present will be a far more challenging process than it was in 2013, 2004 or 1995. We demand much more from our partners now more than ever, and at the most we ask ourselves to show up in the same way. We need to give to our self love as much as our romantic loves, our mutual loves, our respectable loves.
The Before Trilogy is beautiful because it captures time and space in a unique way through the medium of cinema. The perseverance to tell a story through multiple movies is a feat in its own, but to do so with the same actors, and have them bring out such truth in different points of time is magic. I applaud the writing between Linklater, Delpy and Hawke to be so romantic with these characters but give them a depth and feel that surrounds you in their complexities, their behaviours, their nuances and their tenderness. A lovely story is not successful if not tender, because you want to care for them, you want then to be together, it's why we choose to step into the story in the first place, we want to feel that love. It's a strange time because it's hard to feel that reality of togetherness, of holding someone we care about. This whole plot seems ridiculous in today's present world because the idea of meeting a stranger on a train and getting to be close to them seems almost foreign. When you get on a bus and see everyone in masks, how much can we tell from looking into someone's eyes - if they accept and look back - that initiating a conversation is even safe? Let alone to choose to go on a life changing adventure with that may span twenty years? This trilogy showed a time before the blanket of fear clouded over the power of love.
Maybe I'm a dreamer, but we're ready to take the leap, chase that yellow light and seek adventure, because we would always live in the fear and uncertainty of chance, unsure of saying yes to something that might move them, force them to act, and accept the responsibility of life's journey before them. In my exploration of life, I've come to know that I don't regret the leaps I've taken, even if the spill didn't fit the bill upon entry, but I do think about the opportunities that had come into my view, and how I hesitated on taking the ticket to ride that wave, will it have changed my life? I'm sure of that. Would I have been ready? Probably not. But life doesn't wait for you to be ready, it challenges your fears and desires, and it asks you of you every moment, are you present? If you are, the path you take will always be made for you, for your story never ends, it unfolds the way it should. When you take advantage of its infinite realms of possibilities is where the fun resides. It's all perception in the end. The Great truth is always revealing itself upon you if you stay open.
We are the architects of our journey. We choose the way of the path life takes us on. Tonight I finally said yes to Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and Before Midnight directed by Richard Linkater. I didn't know it would happen until I discovered them all available to me, and in the moment I took the leap. I feel changed. The power of cinema for me is to transform you. To have you as you are in the beginning and to have a completely different version of you step out. Through feelings, emotions, triggers, sounds, movements, acting, truthful smiles and hair lifts, missed looks and subtle glances, tears, fears, angers and joys, inner knowings and reflective thoughts upon the self, perhaps the discovery of love itself being the only moving force that can penetrate a broken heart, mend the pieces of the past and provide the fuel to move forward, to outlast forever. Before Infinity.
